Depressing weeks are no fun
Last night Amanda and I were supposed to go see a concert with The Sounds, Morningwood, and Action Action (as I posted about a few blogs ago). I'm not going to explain the whole story of why I didn't get to see them, partly because I've already explained it too many times to several club bouncers, a coat check girl, my parents, and Morgan, among others. Amanda and I ended up seeing several different bands at a completely different venue (if my memory doesn't fail me, they were Anberlin, The Fold, Jonezetta, Emery, and The Classic Crime). They were exactly the type of music that I don't like: screaming rock. Apparently it's being called "screamo". Some of them weren't terrible, but Emery was completely awful, and I must have checked my watch at least every two minutes during their 45-minute set.
Anyway, I am extremely disappointed that I didn't get to see the three bands that I wanted to. Actually, that's an understatement. I'm completely devastated, and it's going to take me a while to get over it. I can't stop thinking about how I so easily could have seen them but my disgusting luck screwed up my entire night. I was having such a good day before the concert, too. I should have known something would happen to ruin it. I don't have really good days.
My entire week has been going quite badly, actually. I thought the concert yesterday would have fixed it, but instead it just made it a whole lot worse. My week started off badly because all of a sudden I was hit really hard with the reality of graduation. It really caught me by surprise. I feel like everything is moving way too fast and I need more time. Just a few days ago my friends and I were discussing our plans for after graduation and how to make the most of our last month together before we go our separate ways over the summer. I'm not ready to face the idea that I will probably never see half of my friends again. Graduation is in 47 days. It seems like a big number, but I know it's going to fly by before I even realize it. I just want things to slow down so I can enjoy what little time I have left here.
At the end of each quarter we are assigned new seats in my World Lit II class. Since this is the last quarter, my teacher decided to be nice and let us choose our own seats. Previously I had been seated in the dead center of the room, and it was awful. Usually when I want to take a little nap during class I'll turn my head to whichever direction has the least amount of people so I have less of a chance of getting caught. When I'm in the very center of the room, however, each side of the room is equally stocked with people so it's rather difficult to close my eyes without interruption. It's only natural that on Wednesday, when we switched seats again, I chose a seat way back in the left corner of the room, quiet and hidden. I thought that seat was a good choice until I'd sat there for a while, when I realized how awful that seat actually is. It represents exactly how I feel about my life. In that seat I feel alone, isolated, and completely ignored. I only see the backs in front of me, and I feel invisible. I am sick of feeling this way in my daily life and I don't want to get that feeling from where I sit in class, too. Unfortunately those to the right of me are rather stubborn and refuse to switch seats around so I'm not stuck in the back corner, alone. I'll have to suck it up and deal with it for the next 47 days.
As depressing as my week has been, I do have a bunch of stuff to look forward to over the next few days. This coming week is April vacation, so I'll finally be able to relax (even though that dreaded 10-15 page paper will be weighing on my mind as I procrastinate as usual). On Tuesday I have a meeting with the Financial Aid Office at Simmons to figure out how the hell I'm going to afford their tuition, even with my scholarship, and basically beg for more money. After that I'm going to try to get my mom to take me to Downtown Crossing and possibly the Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge to see Brick. From Thursday to Friday I'll be sleeping over at Smith College with Morgan, even though I'm definitely not going there because it's too expensive. From Friday to Saturday Morgan and I will also be sleeping over UMass Amherst and will likely be doing nothing academic-related. Please, it's a Friday night at ZooMass. What do you expect? Anyway, hopefully somewhere in there I'll be sleeping over Amanda's house, going to the movies with Siobhan, and/or taking a trip to the mall.
Well, I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought, huh? Well, I hope it wasn't entirely boring. I'll probably have another blog for you tomorrow; otherwise, feel free to nag me. As for right now, I think I'm going to go watch SNL. Adios.
Anyway, I am extremely disappointed that I didn't get to see the three bands that I wanted to. Actually, that's an understatement. I'm completely devastated, and it's going to take me a while to get over it. I can't stop thinking about how I so easily could have seen them but my disgusting luck screwed up my entire night. I was having such a good day before the concert, too. I should have known something would happen to ruin it. I don't have really good days.
My entire week has been going quite badly, actually. I thought the concert yesterday would have fixed it, but instead it just made it a whole lot worse. My week started off badly because all of a sudden I was hit really hard with the reality of graduation. It really caught me by surprise. I feel like everything is moving way too fast and I need more time. Just a few days ago my friends and I were discussing our plans for after graduation and how to make the most of our last month together before we go our separate ways over the summer. I'm not ready to face the idea that I will probably never see half of my friends again. Graduation is in 47 days. It seems like a big number, but I know it's going to fly by before I even realize it. I just want things to slow down so I can enjoy what little time I have left here.
At the end of each quarter we are assigned new seats in my World Lit II class. Since this is the last quarter, my teacher decided to be nice and let us choose our own seats. Previously I had been seated in the dead center of the room, and it was awful. Usually when I want to take a little nap during class I'll turn my head to whichever direction has the least amount of people so I have less of a chance of getting caught. When I'm in the very center of the room, however, each side of the room is equally stocked with people so it's rather difficult to close my eyes without interruption. It's only natural that on Wednesday, when we switched seats again, I chose a seat way back in the left corner of the room, quiet and hidden. I thought that seat was a good choice until I'd sat there for a while, when I realized how awful that seat actually is. It represents exactly how I feel about my life. In that seat I feel alone, isolated, and completely ignored. I only see the backs in front of me, and I feel invisible. I am sick of feeling this way in my daily life and I don't want to get that feeling from where I sit in class, too. Unfortunately those to the right of me are rather stubborn and refuse to switch seats around so I'm not stuck in the back corner, alone. I'll have to suck it up and deal with it for the next 47 days.
As depressing as my week has been, I do have a bunch of stuff to look forward to over the next few days. This coming week is April vacation, so I'll finally be able to relax (even though that dreaded 10-15 page paper will be weighing on my mind as I procrastinate as usual). On Tuesday I have a meeting with the Financial Aid Office at Simmons to figure out how the hell I'm going to afford their tuition, even with my scholarship, and basically beg for more money. After that I'm going to try to get my mom to take me to Downtown Crossing and possibly the Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge to see Brick. From Thursday to Friday I'll be sleeping over at Smith College with Morgan, even though I'm definitely not going there because it's too expensive. From Friday to Saturday Morgan and I will also be sleeping over UMass Amherst and will likely be doing nothing academic-related. Please, it's a Friday night at ZooMass. What do you expect? Anyway, hopefully somewhere in there I'll be sleeping over Amanda's house, going to the movies with Siobhan, and/or taking a trip to the mall.
Well, I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought, huh? Well, I hope it wasn't entirely boring. I'll probably have another blog for you tomorrow; otherwise, feel free to nag me. As for right now, I think I'm going to go watch SNL. Adios.
posted by Patricia at 11:56 PM
2 Comments:
yo, this weekend is gonna make up for all the shitty weekends of your whole year. also, i am fucking pissed at amanda because she really was being an uberbitch about our seats, for no reason at all. but don't worry, we'll do our best to include you, even if i have to yell across two desks to do it. and lastly, you're not invisible. . .
just inaudible. SPEAK UP, GODDAMMIT!!
Others should note that the aforementioned "Amanda" is not the beloved Amanda that I often speak of in my blogs. This name is a little too common.
Love you Morgan. :P
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